15A Nov 29th 8:24 Muji. very slowly

I've been sitting on this bus for the last 40 minutes. It's travelled what normally takes 5 minutes. This is not Cool.

If traffic flows normally I should get into work in about 20-25 minutes from now. Over half an hour later than I'm due in.

While most of the delays could have been avoided by not going down one long bottle neck that is terenure road, as the 15a insists on doing, most of the fault has to go with this country's inability to deal with weather. For a country which such a varying climate our motorists act like rabbits in headlights when faced with conditions different to the previous days.

9 Nov 25th 18:24 Home

Scientific studies will one day surely show a correlation between awful rnb music played at the back of the bus and a lack of social skills.

This is very loud and very bright. And someone smells like hospital. I'm going on the train tomorrow...which will be nice.

Got a different bus tonight which means ill have to walk a bit. But its looking like I might still get home earlier than it was fair to be expected.

Oh lord the mobile phone discotheque is playing "til the sweat drips from my balls". Class

150 Nov 24th 18:43 Home.

Why do teenage girls insist on screaming and squealing. Can't the talk about that bitch from school or how shane gave her blue WKD so as he could feel her up at a normal level. Does nobody understand discreet anymore?

150 Nov 24th 12:14 Fighting Words

The bus just drove past a school yard were the kids were playing what looked like football for P.E. They were really young kids, maybe 6 or 7 years of age. They were all over the place, everyone running after the ball, no such thing as positions. Except for the goalkeeper who was running in circles around one of the goal posts. Looked like fun.

15A Nov 23rd 11:20 Muji

God I'm getting old. The collection of tweak and aches brought on by everyday events is gathering momentum. When I bend down my knees click, when I stand my ankles wobble. The collarbone I broke the night before my inter cert began throb when its cold and stings when it's cold. I just ran for the bus only to feel my back spasm in my first stride. When I was younger I could play full length football matches without even stretching. These days when I play badminton the warm ups last longer than the game.

All my teenage heroes have grey in their goatee. So do I now that I think of it.

It's hard to say anything new and fresh about ageing that hasn't been said countless times before by bad tv comedians. I guess we're just lucky that we are alive now. The average life expectancy of men in the 16th century was 34. I imagine a jippy knee is preferable to the black lung.

15A Nov 20th 13:37 Day out with F

I've come up with a way of raising money to help pay off the national debt. A tax on people moaning about bankers, Europe and the government. Yes it is shit that that everything is more expensive and times are hard...but its been that way for the last two years. It can't be unexpected when you hear we are fucked.
.
And before you say 'its not my debt' let me just say you're wrong. It's the systems debt and this is your system. Rightly or wrongly this is the system you live in and therefore endorse. I'm not sure that there is much choice but if you look to reap the benefits you have to pay the toll.

I've got no real problem with the rumored vat increase on luxury items, might make life simpler.

150 Nov 22nd.12:00 Mothers

A lot of old people just got on the bus outside St. agnes church in Crumlin. Other people's religious preference Is something I don't usually comment on but I guess they had nothing better to do than go to mass on Tuesday.

15A Nov 19th 11:25 Muji.

I now live on the road that the character in my book grew up on. He definitely lived in one of those houses.


My mother used to have a thing were we weren't allowed to eat bread out on the street. We could eat sweets and crisps but. we could never take a sandwich or a slice of toast out. She thought it looked bad in front of the neighbours. Go figure. Then again there are some people (usually elderly) who find eating on the street to be the height of a bad upbringing. Times they are a changing as Zimmerman once said...and that was 50 years ago.

The reason I'm thinking about it is because I just ate a sandwich on the bus. Ham cheese and may on brown bread. I made it myself. Technically it was for my lunch but I didn't have time for breakfast. So poorly organised

The funny thing is though, I went to the back of the bus to eat it. I didn't want anyone to see me. Maybe I'm developing my mothers shame when it comes to bread based food stuffs?

15A Nov 18th 8:35 Muji

Irish people talk utter shite at times. I know I'm somewhat of the pot here calling your kettle a vaccum of light, but at least I'm aware of my drivel. The way these guys behind me are talking you would imagine, no one had ever had a thought before. That said some of the thoughts these chuckleheads are sharing would have been better off drowned at inception.

One of them would have been to 'blag us in, no bother' to some VIP function while the other is 'strongly contemplating' not going to Poland for the European championship game between Ireland and Poland "coz I guarantee it will kick off." I should point out that the draw for the competition hasn't been made yet.

Now they are talking about retail opportunitys in rathmines. I've figured out who they remind me of. The deluded self important douchebags who want to be on the apprentice with bill cullen. They are smarter than everyone else except they are actually blow hard buffoons with bananas for brains. Oh god, he's talking about 'a fair few birds he scored.' YOU'RE AN ENORMOUS KNOBEND!!!

150. Nov. 16th 11:15 Cineworld

So with the aid of a phone app. I can tell almost exactly when my buses will arrive at the nearest stop. I complain about Dublin bus enough so credit is due for their digital display thing. I didn't hold out much hope for them when I first saw them.

There is a sweet and toy shop in crumlin village called 'The A Team.' I remember seeing it when I was a kid, at the height of the popularity of the tv show for which its was named. As an 11 year old I thought the shop was a cynical attempt to entice kids to spend their pocket money in the hope that B.A. Baracus might dispense the fruit salads. As a 35 year old I think its a terrible name for a shop. But its still open after 24 years, so what do I know.

Sometimes I worry that deep down inside I might be a little bit racist or homophobic. Then I realise that my problem isn't with race or religion or sexual preference, I just these ,get annoyed by annoying people. So with that said these two Fuckin eejits need to learn to use their indoor voice.

Since they got on they haven't shut up once and they are so loud I miss the sound of bad pop music bleeding from shitty earphones.

150 Nov 14th 18:21 Home

There seems to be a lot less graffiti on buses than there used to be. I wonder is that cos because I'm old now and am afraid to sit near the back of the bus or do they just clean it more regularly.

Strong whiff of old lady perfume on this bus.

I've no idea what to have for dinner this evening. Was trying to not think about it all day which in hindsight was a bad move...because its dinnertime now and I'm none the wiser. Ive nothing in at home either. I could get take away but its always so... unsatisfactory. You pick what sounds or seems delicious but it never is. It's just disappointing and you always feel gross afterwards. Besides its Monday. You can't have take away on Monday...can you?

15A. Nov 14th. 11:21 Muji

I really should get a bus ticket. I had no change this morning so i had to raid the copper jar. Having to drop 1.85 in one, two and five cent pieces into the slot can be quite dramatic. First there is the noise as the copper tumble into the metal box. The driver pauses. He looks at the money then at you. If it was an episode of eastenders this would be the moment the drumbeat kicks in.

You look at him, silently insisting its the correct amount. He looks back at the money. Fuck it, he's not counting all that. He presses. the button and the machine spits out the ticket.

I take my seat with a warm smug feeling inside. John 1 System 0. There was only 1.63 in it.

The adrenaline rush subsides and I realise I can't keep doing it to myself. I'm too old for this living on the edge malarkey. What if he was the fastidious, perfectionist type who wanted to check every penny was there.

27 Nov 13th 13:26 Muji

Dylan Moran referred to fried breakfasts as 'slices of pig, tubes of pig and a chicken's abortion.'

I visited my mum early today in the hope that she would be making a Sunday fry up as is tradition in our house. She wasn't. She was going to town. I ask you. What kind of Irish mommy doesn't make a sausage for her 35 year old son on a Sunday.

I wonder if the rude man sitting in the wheelchair area on the bus would have let the woman with the pram have that seat if shed been Irish. Although he could just be completely ihnorant as a opposed to racist.

15A Nov 11th 8:22am Muji

Traffic is pretty pants today, this may be a 'sorry I'm late' day. Ah well.

I wonder do people who study journalism think 'some day I'm going to write about Louis Walsh and a bunch of desperate barely talented pub singers.' I know I shouldn't read the metro herald but like I said, traffic is bad. How can quoting Twitter count as investigative reporting. And then there is the letters page which allows every halfway with an reasoned opinion a voice to air it. It's like Joe Duffy in print format.

Guy in front of me is listening to Appetite For Destruction by Guns n Roses. Great album but surely a sign that I'm getting old is that I'm thinking its too early in the morning for that kind of thing.

Today date is 11:11:11. I want to make a joke about whatever number that represents in binary because I'm a bit of nerd, but obviously not nerdy enough because I can't remember what number it is. Is it any wonder I flunked my commercial computingcourse all those years ago.

15A Nov 8th.17:56 Dest. F's birthday celebraions

Heading out for 's birthday. Going out for dinner. All dressed up. Even have shirt tucked in. I never do that.

I may have gone overboard with the aftershave. I wear it so rarely now its hard to tell. Still its preferable to the stench of three day old stale tramps urine that I've been noticing on the buses lately

The woman in front is reading about Tony Fenton declaring bankruptcy in the Irish Times. I used to call an old boss of mine Tony Fenton cos he was the most annoying bollix I'd ever had the misfortune to meet. He used to call me Johnny despite me telling him,on numerous occasions that I hated being called anything that was a twist on John. The sound of his. Voice would make me want to take a hole punch to my face. A slow painful death by office equipment was better than the irritating drone that spewed regularly from his lips.

15A Nov 7th 11:35a.m. Muji

My alarm went off at nine this morning. I had stuff to do and I wanted to be up and doing before being in work for 12. I actually got up at 5 to 11. And it looks like ill be late for work...again.

Why do I do it to myself? The answer is motivation. Where I work is a great place to work, I like my colleagues,the customers are generally Cool and I have lots of time to collect my thoughts. But the problem with part time work is its not my 'real' job, so my dedication and commitment to it is quite small. So I don't actually care if I'm late.

It's not like I ever get to leave at 6 when the shift ends. Timekeeping is the least of my thoughts.

This bus does go a bit of a funny way around from the top of Camden street, past the concert hall and around Stephens Green. I don't think a that it even stops until Dawson street. The beauty of one way streets I suppose.

150. Nov 6th 17:49 Home

I'm exhausted. Didn't get much sleep and just finished a shift behind the counter in muji. Feet and eyes are sore.

I could do without the three spotty teenage knack bags playing Aloe Black being played on a mobile phone. How can people be so selfish and oblivious to other people feelings? I don't need to listen to your shit taste in music or shit opinions on 'birds.'

27. Nov 5th 17:11. Dest. City Centre

This one smells like pee too

Why do people who listen to shitty dance POP music like rhianna always have crap headphones?

This hat is kind of itchy.

150 Nov 5th 13:53 Dest. Parents House.

This bus smells like pee.

This is my first day this winter wearing a hat in public. It's not that cold...actually, its quite warm. But I think its a good look for me. I don't really have a head for hats but this works. It's just a woolly black bobble hat but I like it. My head is sweating like Bertie Ahern's conscience...where ever that's being kept.

Driver is playing Irish trad music. It's loud and shit. Unlike Kormacs big band who were awesome last night. So happy for my buddy Sean who plays trumpet with them. That Irvine Welsh song was fantastic. It'll go down a storm when they tour oz.

54A. Nov 4/11/11 14:27. Dest. Home.

Despite the really loud Algerian shouting down the phone about desktop box set and three long skirts, this is a good day.


Somedays you realise that you are doing the right thing with your life. Today is one of those days.

128 Nov 3rd 6:00pm Dest. northside somewhere.

I hate going to the northside. Not because of any north south snobbery but because I never have a clue where I'm going. I've only made my way to F's house on my own once. I'm not even sure I'm on the right bus. I didn't even buy the ice cream in case I get lost.

The kid in front of me is asking his dad if he could get sent to military school like Francis in Malcolm In The Middle. Some of the kids in the cinema could do with a spell in the army. Talking,snotting,kicking the back of the chairs. I blame the parents....


Still, ghostbusters was brilliant even after 25 odd years. Sigourney Weaver makes a very hot victim of demonic possession. And the theme song still gets me.

It's so hot on this bus the windows are fogged. I can't see where I am. Lost on the northside. This may be my last entry

9 Nov 3rd Dest. Cineworld.

I nearly swung and hit that man with my bag when I was sitting down. He looks like a cranky bollix. He would have had a fit.

I'm starving. Should have had lunch before I left. Maybe I'll have time to grab a sandwich. If not I'll get a hot or something in thecinema. Cineworld are showing ghostbusters cos its Halloween. Can't wait.

You know they say slimer in the movie is the ghost of John Belushi, who was supposed to be in it before he died. I ain't afraid of no ghost but Belushi could be scary when he got in the zone. Comedy genius.

The weather in Dublin is mental. I'm looking at the exact point where the pissing rain stops and the sunshine starts. This coat I'm wearing is too warm but it keeps the rain out. November in Dublin and its not cold enough for a winter coat.

Some people deny climate change. I don't understand how. Even George Carlin, a hero of mine reckoned its just propaganda. He was of the belief that the earth will b.e fine. When it gets tired of making messing it up it will *just shut down. Humanity will die out but the planet will recharge and be fine. I guess it is a little arrogant to expect earth to house us forever.

Visiting F. later. She's not well. I'll bring here some ice cream. Maybe a tub from lidl. Or should I get the expensive stuff. I want to impress obviously but she's probably too sick to notice.

Oh. That guy has the same backpack as me. How embarrassing.

150. Nov 2nd 22:43 Destination home.

Went for drinks after work. I need a pee. Might get off early for a bag of chips.

The bus driver probably thinks I'm racist. I wa at thes just trying to help out. The guy getting on in front offront asked if he stopped at the Ashleaf. That makes no sense to me and I'm from Crumlin.

Fuck me this bus goes all over the place.And someone should tell the driver speed bumps are supposed to slow you down.

I need to pee. Bad.

Oh there's my mums road. I feel weird passing and not going for a visit. but its nearly 11 o clock
She'd think I'd gone mad visiting at this hour. or I was on drugs. I'm not on drugs.

15a bus. Nov 2 8:20 am Destination Muji

Nov 2. 8:20 am. Destination Muji

Does anyone really want to hear more of my wittering. What kind of egotist thinks the ramblings that enter his mind are worth committing to history.

I'm probably going to be late. I got the same bus yesterday and I was 20 minutes early.

That's a lie. I got a bus 10 minutes earlier yesterday. Why am I lying to myself in public?

This bus driver hates cyclist. Jesus its like he wants to mount and hump that bike. Pedal, you fucker, like your life depends on it.....it does in fairness.

Can't believe people are still reading Ross O Carroll Kelly. That joke got old about 4 years ago. Roysh, the thing is, I'm going to say really offensive things about people, roysh, but because I say it in like, a D4 accent, its going to be focking hi-larious. Poor people are disgusting.

This bus really wants to shag something. Nearly up on the back of the 15b in front.

Yep, going to be late. More excuses to be made up.

I want to say that the woman beside me has nice legs but Im afraid my girlfriend will read it. I'm also afraid it'll sound like I'm one of those bus pervs. I'm not I swear. There is no harm looking is there. My girlfriend won't be too upset will she. I'm an artist afterall